I’m a long time reader of Ann Friedman’s newsletter—she’s actually the first person whose personal newsletter I ever signed up for, after a couple of coworkers at my first ever regular journalism gig recommended her. It’s a good, low-stress newsletter, and there are definitely some similarities to what I’m doing here, because I’ve enjoyed hers for so long. Last week she wrote about the concept of giving advice to your younger self, which apparently Cheryl Strayed gets asked about a lot. And I’ve been thinking about that, because I’ve hit an age where I think it’s pretty natural to look back on your 20s with some reflection, and the more I think about it, the more I’m certain I wouldn’t tell young me anything. Sorry, me!

What would I even say?? “Years from now, what you will most regret is the times you really stuck your foot in your mouth.” Because that’s the stuff that really haunts me—being a jerk to people because I wasn’t thinking before I spoke, or I prioritized making a joke over how someone would feel about it, or I made some assumption because I thought I knew everything, and that’s just a silly way to think.

There are things I feel sort of wistful didn’t work out, and there are people I could have been kinder to (and people I wish had been kinder to me), but it’s not like I was offered the Cool Big City Job and turned it down, and I didn’t fall in love with anyone and then break up with them for a reason that will be resolved in a 90 minute movie where we get back together. But I also think this type of question suggests there’s some ideal way to game being young, that if you just know the right answer, you’ll move through life more easily. And that’s obviously not true, and it’s not any more true as you get older, either.

And you know what? If 48-year-old me is out there looking back right now…keep it to yourself. I don’t want to hear it. Wait. Will the second season of Severance be any good?

Oops, I Didn’t Read Much This Week

Sorry, no big recommendations this week. I’m in a really busy period at work, and I’ve been going out a lot. I went to three concerts in a week! And I’m going to the fourth this weekend, but I think that’ll be a subject for another newsletter.

Guess Which Good Boy Has a Birthday This Weekend?

It’s my cat! He turns 15 on Sunday. That is very old for a cat, and he’s had sort of a rough spring, health-wise, but in general, he’s still his usual self, with strong opinions about when he should get to sit on my lap (always), and he still makes me laugh every day. It’s hard to explain if you don’t know him, but he does a lot of face work. Classic comic face acting.

He wasn’t too sure about me when I first adopted him, but I won him over by hand feeding him Fancy Feast after he did a three day hunger strike when he came home with me, and he generously upgraded his personal list of humans he liked to one. I recognize that this is a great honor, considering how selective he is, and while I wish he would consider adding another human or two to the list, I do like to feel special. In honor of his birthday, please think of the most persnickety person in your life who you’ve won over despite their grumpiness, and then give them a tummy rub (or preferred equivalent).

What I’m Watching

I watched a couple episodes of Jury Duty on whatever Amazon Freevee is over the weekend. It’s about a guy named Ronald who signs up for jury duty, but does not know that everyone around him is acting. He thinks he’s in a documentary about jury duty, but he’s in a documentary about himself. All of the jurors are talented improvisers, and James Marsden appears as an obnoxious, exaggerated version of himself. It’s very funny—the other jurors are basically characters out of Parks and Recreation or The Office (the creative team was also involved in those). But it’s also a little queasy. He’s been giving interviews about the experience of the show and saying nice things about the people involved, but there’s something cruel about the whole concept, that everyone is lying to him and he doesn’t know it’s fake. For the most part, the other people are the butt of the joke, and he is somehow the nicest person in the world, but every now and then the joke is on him, and then that seems really unfair. I’m probably going to keep watching—it’s not like he’s being hidden camera-ed—but I’m kind of on the fence about whether the whole thing is awful as a premise…or fine?

I’m also watching Mrs. Davis, which is on Peacock, and is very, very weird. It’s about a near-future world where a Siri-like AI program communicates with all people at all times, telling them what to do, except for a nun who resists it, who embarks on a quest to destroy it. Two episodes in I’m not entirely sure what’s going on, but I am still curious to find out! I really like the lead actress, Betty Gilpin, from when she was on Glow, the great Netflix show about the women’s wrestling league. For Betty’s sake, I shall stick with the mystery.

The efforts to pass legislation denying rights to trans people and particularly young trans people in this country are absolutely horrifying, and this video from the parent of a trans child, is heartbreaking and enraging. Some tiny fraction of people identify as trans; the rapaciousness with which right wing figures have leaped on this as a wedge issue to fuel outrage is grotesque, and the willingness with which the media has heaped on concern trolling about trans kids, who are even more vulnerable, is a massive embarrassment to the industry. There seems to be a lot of confusion about what it means to be trans and in response cynical efforts like these have jumped in to sow a very specific narrative. I was lucky enough to get to talk to the parent of a very young trans child once, and while this is obviously an issue on which I already have pretty strong feelings, hearing about how these parents came to understand their child’s identity was really interesting and validating, and I wish more people could hear stories like that to understand why kids need to be allowed to explore their identities like this.

Friday Newsletter Again, Huh?

Look, sometimes your Wednesdays book up with social plans. You’ll get this newsletter when you get it, OK!!